zippers are such a cool invention
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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