she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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