No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
