real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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