just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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