One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
