do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
