She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
