you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
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