ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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