He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
