plz talk dirty to me
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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