If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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