This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Hippo gnu deer
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
