I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
My vagina just clenched in fear
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
