sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Randomize
