Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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