Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I'm at about main and main street
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize