After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
