4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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