you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
