I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
