so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
