I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
it was like eating out sand paper
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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