ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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