I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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