my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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