Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
