No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
