my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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