Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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