It's chlamydia! Thank God!
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
