Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
