He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
