Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
