sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
