First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
