I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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