he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
