I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
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