so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Come on in and take your pants off
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