So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize