Midget sex pt 2 tonight
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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