PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
