i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
