6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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