i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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