thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize