first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
