this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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