I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
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