i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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