I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
