just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
