I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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