i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
