you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
