My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i think my tv is drunk
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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