it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Randomize
