Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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