Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
What happened to fro yo and sex?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
